That's What She Said

Awards Season

The Golden Globes were canceled, and it isn’t looking so good for the Oscars. So, in the spirit of the awards season, I have decided to give out a few awards of my own. And I’d like to invite all of you to be the Academy. My first category is “Best Plaintiff in an Employment-Based Lawsuit,” which honors the Dunder Mifflin employee who has been most egregiously wronged by the Company. And the nominees are:

Kevin: Kevin is nominated for his experience in having to admit that he has anal fissures in a room of his coworkers during Season Two’s “Health Care.”

Oscar: Oscar is nominated for Michale mocking and ridiculing his sexual orientation and then, upon his return from stress leave, having a “welcome back” party with a theme based solely on his Mexican-American heritage.

Kelly: Kelly is nominated for having her heritage mocked by Michael during diversity training and again in a meeting called to specifically discuss her religious beliefs. Kelly’s claim will be especially strong in light of Michael’s decision to mock the diversity training program and sign his acknowledgment of the training with the pseudonym “Daffy Duck.”

Phyllis: Phyllis is nominated for having been groped and forced to listen to sexually inappropriate comments by Michael and his cohort, Bob Packer, in Season Two’s “Sexual Harassment.” Phyllis’ performance as a plaintiff especially is bolstered by Michael’s announcement that he is afraid of getting a “boner” while forcibly hugging her.

I look forward to hearing from you as the members of the Academy. I’ll be selecting the winner soon – so check back mid-next week.

10 thoughts on “Awards Season”

  1. I have to vote for Oscar. When I put myself in those characters’ shoes, I think I would be most mortified by being outed by Michael, then being kissed in front of the whole office. At least he got a two month paid vacation out of the deal, but if I were him I would definitely sue for more.

  2. What about just about everyone in the Office for having to suffer through one of Meredith’s “Wardrobe Malfunctions”? Haven’t they been sexually harassed enough?

    But, force me if you will, I’d vote for Phyllis. Between the groping and then Michael’s behavior at her wedding, well, she’s had enough pain for one tour of duty in a thankless job.

  3. I would definitely vote for Oscar. Being outed by Michael must have been a horrible experience.

    P.S. His name is “Todd Packer” not Bob.

  4. In the Phyllis section you wrote Bob Packer…and it actually Todd Packer…Bob (Vance) is Phyllis’ now husband in the show.

  5. What about poor Dwight? His brain might be severely damaged and he could justly suffer some paranoia due the constant on-slaught of Jim’s daily/hourly pranks. That is a life long condition and all instances are well documented by Dwight’s complaints to Toby in HR, he keeps a box under his desk. In addition Jim has admitted to these pranks on camera. Sounds like trouble to me.

  6. Kelly gets no love and no day in court because she is such an annoying ditz. Seriously, that character could go away and, really, what would be lost?

  7. I say we should vote for poor old Kevin. I mean to have anal fissures is one thing, but to have everyone else know you have them… well, that’s another thing.

    However, I do not fee like Jim should in anyway be brought into this. Dwight deserves all he gets and I think he even enjoys it! If you want to bring up a case for Dwight then accuse Micheal of something, not Jim!

    That’s just my two-cents.

    I’m going through Office withdrawals…it’s killing me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *