Oswald Letter

Maybe I’m Just Getting Old

I don’t consider myself old, but I think I might be getting a little crotchety as I age. Recently, I’ve found myself frequently annoyed with people. The cause of my crankiness? An apparent lack of concern about being on time.

People today don’t seem to concern themselves with being on time for appointments, meetings, or any other commitment. And I hate to say it because it makes me sound like I’m getting old, but I think the problem is getting worse with the younger generation. They don’t seem to be as concerned with the clock as my generation was and certainly the one before mine was.

Now I’m willing to admit this might be a bit of a problem of mine. Being prompt was drilled into me by my father. We arrived everywhere early because, “if you’re not early, you’re late.” My wife would tell you I’m a bit obsessive when it comes to being on time. I believe in “margin time.” That is, leaving for an appointment or other commitment early enough that if you run into an unexpected delay, you’ll still arrive at the destination on time.

The key word in that last sentence is commitment. You’ve made a commitment to be somewhere at a certain time, and I believe you need to honor your commitments. It goes to your character, and it goes to respect. Do I respect the other party enough to be where I said I would be at the designated time?

There’s a reason they tell job candidates to make sure they locate the building where they’ll be interviewed with plenty of time to spare. Circle the block a few times or even go grab a cup of coffee once you know the exact location of the potential employer. Then come back 10 minutes early to show that you’re prompt and eager. And if it’s important to demonstrate those qualities to a potential employer, why wouldn’t they be important enough to maintain in your daily life?

But instead of seeing people routinely honor time commitments, the opposite seems more and more true. On Sunday morning the pastor begins the service with announcements so that those stragglers coming in the door 5 to 10 minutes late don’t interrupt the actual service. Here’s a novel idea, how about they show up on time so they don’t interrupt the hundreds of other people in the church?

Yesterday I had a phone conference schedule with three parties on the line. After waiting on hold for nearly 15 minutes for our host — the person who requested the call — to arrive, I had to call his assistant to ask why he wasn’t on the line. She was surprised he wasn’t on the call and said she’d track him down. Minutes later he’s on the line apologizing that another call had run long. That’s odd, that’s not what your assistant said. So now not only have you sent the message that I’m not important enough to remember, but you lied about why you weren’t on the call.

I have a standing appointment three times a week with a trainer. Three times per week. At least once each week, he’ll arrive late and complain about how bad the traffic was getting to the gym. That’s funny, I come from the same end of town, and I’m here on time. Why don’t you try leaving a little earlier just in case you encounter that traffic? It’s called margin time!

Of course, I share some blame in all of these examples. I could find another church that doesn’t coddle the latecomers. I could have hung up on the call after 10 minutes instead of calling the perpetrator’s assistant to get him on the line. And I could find another personal trainer who respects my time, since I’m the one paying for the hour.

I also will admit that there are times when people are unavoidably detained. They encounter a disastrous wreck on the interstate on their way to work and the road is shut down. Or there’s an unforeseen problem at home that needs immediate attention. These things do happen, but they should be the exception, not the rule. If I’m consistently hearing excuses, then I’m hearing that you don’t respect me enough to respect my time.

You want to make a good impression, be on time. You want to show respect, be on time. You want to demonstrate that you honor your commitments, be on time. Whether or not you’re on time says a lot about you, so be on time.

And for me, I’m going to resolve to eliminate those people from my life who don’t respect me or my time.  Maybe I’ll be a little less cranky.

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