Last week, I wrote about the decline of civility in our world. It seemed to me that if we all would reflect on what we were taught as children by our mothers, we’d treat one another a whole lot better. That got me to thinking about the impact my mother has had on my life and led me to the conclusion that everything I need to know about managing people I learned from my mother.

Think about that for a minute. Remember all the things you learned from your mother, whether it was what she said or what she did? How many of those things apply to your role as a manager? My guess would be plenty. Let me give you a few examples.

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My mother is a wonderful woman. She’s a gentle, caring, nurturing person. When I was growing up, she instilled in me and my siblings a sense of how to treat others. My mother did this by example more than anything. She showed us how to treat others through her actions and words. She rarely, if ever, said anything derogatory about someone, and it was unusual for her to even raise her voice. That’s why I know she was shocked by some of the actions of recent weeks.

We saw a Congressman shout ”You lie!” at the President of the United States during the middle of the President’s speech. We had a highly visible tennis professional berate and threaten a line judge on national television. And we watched in amazement as a high-profile entertainer stole the spotlight from and embarrassed a young performer in the middle of her acceptance speech for an award she’d just won.

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My 12-year-old is facing a challenging situation for one of the first times in his young life. And as any parent can tell you, it’s tough to watch your child suffer. Now I don’t want to blow things out of proportion, I’m not talking life or death here, but he’s facing adversity and struggling with it.

I can’t help but to believe this will prove to be an important life lesson for both of us. How he responds to the adversity could make a difference in the person he becomes. And how I help guide him through this situation will make a lasting impression on him. The natural instinct of a person is to protect the child and shelter them from the hurt that is likely to occur. But another side of me believes what Disraeli said, “There is no education like adversity.”

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A lot is written about leaders. Go to your nearest bookstore and you will find shelves full of books written by politicians, businesspeople, and athletes on how to be a leader. Is there a secret recipe that if you follow every step will make you a leader? I don’t think so. But there are some common traits that all real leaders share.

If you take a look in the dictionary, you’ll find that a leader is defined as a person or thing that leads; a guiding or directing head, as of an army, movement, or political group. That definition does not get to the heart of what it takes to be a leader. By this definition, you’re a leader if you just happen to be standing in the front of the line. But we all know it takes much more than that to be a leader.

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