3 Things that Say, ‘Please Sue Me’

Still have exit interviews, probationary periods, and sick leave? asks popular speaker Hunter “Please Sue Me” Lott. If you have those, get rid of them, he says.

The exit interview was invented by HR, Lott says, and it suggests that our philosophy is, “Let’s spend our time with the crummy employees.” Stop that, says Lott. Spend the time on stay interviews with the good employees.

Lott (hunterlott.com) offered his advice at SHRM’s Annual Conference and Exposition, held recently in Chicago.

Probationary Periods and Sick Leave—Get Rid of Them

If you have a probationary period (or, as one of Lott’s clients calls it, “comfort time”), get rid of it, says Lott. It gives the impression of permanent employment after it’s over. Once you get rid of it, your people are on probation forever.

Get rid of sick leave as well, he says. Lump it in with paid time off (PTO). You don’t want to be in the babysitting business.

Manage Your Compensation Language

Lott offers four “Please Sue Me” scenarios you never want to hear.

• If the phone rings during your lunch break, do you answer it? Yes, it’s “answer by the third ring or you’re fired.”
• “Anyone working unauthorized overtime will not be compensated for the additional time worked.”
• “The firm’s time clock is used to help the employer and all hourly employees track their hours worked, overtime, and flexible leave time. In the event of a discrepancy, the time clock will prevail. Failure to record your time on the time clock will result in not being paid for all time worked.”
• “If you clock in at 7:01, you will be docked 15 minutes.”

Please sue me, says Lott.

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Interviewing 2013

Always go after behavior during your interviews, Lott says. The best-qualified candidate may be miserable, grumpy, and complaining. You don’t want that in a coworker. On the other hand, Lott says, you don’t want a happy-go-lucky accountant, either. (However, he quips, you may be willing to put up with behavior from IT people that you wouldn’t tolerate from anyone else.)

Lott suggests the following interview questions:

• Describe your typical workday from start to finish.
• What was the last thing you did to make your job easier?
• What have you done to reduce costs or save time in your current position?
• Tell me about your last workplace evaluation.
• Give an example of how you adapt to change.
• Give an example of how you solved a specific problem.
• Give an example of your creativity at work.
• What is the biggest misperception of you?
• Describe something you have done that shows your commitment to ensuring customer satisfaction.

‘Please Sue Me’ Interviewing Horror Story

Lott tells of one manager he encountered who was proud of his cleverness in interviewing young ladies. He asked them, “Are you going to be ‘in the family way’?” He hadn’t mentioned the word “pregnant,” and he thought that meant he was legally in the clear.

HR, Get Out of the Dating/Babysitting Business

This generation is going to make their social connections at work, says Lott, and you don’t want to be the babysitter for that, either. Get rid of policies and procedures that you can’t or won’t enforce.

For example, he says, here’s a typical policy:

“Personal relationships in the workplace are strongly discouraged. A company employee who is involved in a personal relationship with another company employee will not be permitted to work in the same department as, work directly for, or supervise the employee with whom he or she is involved. For purposes of this policy, a personal relationship includes any romantic or intimate relationship between individuals who have or have had a continuing relationship of a romantic or intimate nature.”

Can you imagine policing that policy? Lott asks. Or how about another client whose policy is, essentially, "If you are having an affair, you have to turn yourself in."

Here’s Lott’s answer for a policy on dating:

“Any relationship on or off the job that affects your ability to do your job or our ability to run our business may be a valid reason for firing.”

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Think. Please Think Before You Act

In one client company, one of the employees had a miscarriage and asked for bereavement leave, which was denied. Think, says Lott. Do you really want to defend this decision?

A good yardstick for all your HR actions is this: Would you be comfortable defending your actions on “60 Minutes” or YouTube?

In tomorrow’s Advisor, Lott’s recommendations for social media and one more quip on compensation, plus an introduction to the audit guide that lets you find problems before the feds do.